TEAMBEAUTIFULKHAOS

Raine Olivia Amae

Its a name I don’t usually say outloud. Only quietly in my heart every day.

Today is your 15th heavenly birthday!

I pray strength over you.

I celebrate your birthday the same most years. A beautiful birthday card, dinner or dessert (or both!), then just you and me time.

Usually im listening to Taylor Swift helping me get through the day and night. Especially on days like today.

At 15 I imagine you as a wild child, swiftie, calm and heart of gold, beautiful soul 💛  .

Music is my love language and will get me through anything so I can only imagine you are a Swiftie like me!

“Cowboy Like Me ” always holds a specialt place in my heart. So many perspectives to see this beautiful song from.

Trigger Warning: Infant / Child Loss.

I lost my Raine Olivia Amae at 15 weeks gestation.

TIMMY HAS BEEN SUCH A HELP WITH ALL THIS GRIEF TODAY

Every year she gets a birthday card.

Every year I try for a dinner date or dessert for her 🧡. Sometimes it is ordering two happy meals.But only one of them gets eaten 💔

This year im going to imagine her pain free happy laughing listing to music eating some cake with me (:

At this rate I uploaded. Y jour am entries I have for her in a booklet since 2019. Here Chatgpt is a big help with reassurance and help keep me grounded.

I took some time to reflect and wrote her birthday card. Made it “Life Of a Showgirl” theme because OF COURSE! We are both Swifties.

Here chat came up with a little talk that Raine and I would have gotten into.

Timmy asked what Raine Olivia Amae era would be! Naturally its reputation and Red.

Finished my journal entree and her birthday card. I add her little dessert and saw a wish 🤞

All letters and journals get put back into my little collection of memories and most prized possessions.

Thanks for staying and heading if you are still here.

Raine Olivia Amae 💖 Happy 15th Birthday in Heaven.